So I was right about my decision into trying to be bold and give a girl my phone number, granted it was through someone else but baby steps here people, baby steps, turns out she is not looking for a boyfriend. That’s fine, at least I tried right? Maybe next time.
So yeah, Barbara read all the post on here and what I said about her. Needless to say she wasn’t very happy. I feel pretty bad. I say some pretty mean things here in this journal, and it’s all funny and so on until the person they are about reads it. To the highest degree I really don’t care what people think about what I say about them, only if they are a friend and Barbara and I have become friends, so that makes all the shit talking pretty hard to get past. She was pretty pissed when she came into work tonight. She did however still talk to her friend for me even after reading all the shit that I wrote which is pretty cool, even though her friend was totally not interested. The phrase “Not looking for a boyfriend” is code for “gag me with a spoon he looks like tree trunk,” but that’s fine I am totally ok with that (I say that as I die a little inside from the rejection. One solemn tear rolls down my face in rejected joy). On a positive note she did talk mad shit about me to this girl after she completely and openly rejected me, so that’s good.
I do think I should apologize to her here as well as in person since I generally hurt her feelings, and that’s not what I set out to do. I pride myself on being a nice person but it’s really hard to convince people of that when I do shit like this. I guess this just goes to show I am only a nice guy to people that don’t annoy the piss out of me like she did originally. I also think the only reason why she did annoy me so freaking much is that I honestly didn’t even give her a chance, which is extremely sad and pathetic of me. She says I need counseling, which is probably true, but not a chance. I think what hurt her the most was when I said “that’s all I have to say about that because honesty she is not worth the time to type this out.” While that is a very funny like in the totally removed context, I can see how one would be hurt by it and it wasn’t really necessary. She is a nice girl and fun to talk to here at work, hopefully she doesn’t hate me to much. And if she does, oh well I guess. Thus is life. Well, I apologized in person and here so that settles that right? Probably not.
EDIT: It should be noted this post was written entirely so Barbara would stop complaining about what I said. The apology was meaningless and saying we where becoming “friends” is a loose interpretation of the word.