The Happy Bus Drivers Theorem


When I was in high school I took Physics, not because I was a smart kid but because I had finished all the other Math classes they offered that I needed and this one counted for science as well. Generally I did okay in the class, I passed and all but I wasn’t a model student. I was WAY more interested in hitting on the senior girl I sat next to named Brianna Fuller. Long black hair and a little bit of a bad girl. Ask me if we ever went on a date. Go on, ask. The answer is no, but I did touch her but once.

On to my point. We had a homework assignment one night and being the good little student I was, I did my homework in the class prior to physics. We grade our test and one of the questions involves figuring out how many bus drivers are needed for any given metropolitan area, given it’s population and size. Something went horribly wrong with my math and I was WAY off.

Before I move on, let me let you in on a little secret. I was that kid teachers loved and hated. I was clever, smart and convincing. Case in point, my 11th grade English teacher let me bring a couch into her class room because I didn’t like sitting at the desk.

Moving on, I quickly re-wrote the formula to the problem so that I was figuring out how many ‘Happy Bus Drivers’ there would be in any given metropolitan area, given population and size.

Needless to say my teacher, and classmates got a good laugh about it, but I explained my case, walked the class through The Happy Bus Driver Theorem and oddly enough, got credit for the problem.

And now, with out further delay, I present to you for the first time…

The Happy Bus Driver Theorem!

H=number of happy bus drivers
P=Population
C=Percent that ride the buss
B=people per bus
S=average number of stops
R=average number of roads on route

H=((P*C)/B)/Rx10^-1+(b/s)

So let’s put this into practice for the Washington DC area.

H=?
P=570,000
C=25%
B=57
S=8
R=12

so that means H=((570,000*.25)/57)/12×10^-1(57/8)

This means that roughly 25% of the bus drivers in Washington DC are happy, leaving the other 75% unhappy!

Fun stuff for a fun world!

So remember, ods are your bus driver is unhappy! Oh, and keep in mind this theorum ONLY works for city bus drivers, there’s a whole new set of variables for school bus drivers!

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