the greatest love song ever written…EVAR!!!! 12

Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile
I’ve had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon

My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infetion, how I miss you more and more
Your dnob’s itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear

Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus when you spirochaetes met mine

Gonoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis.

My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he’s ever seen
My scrotum’s painted orange and my balls are turning green

My heart is vert tender though the parts are awful raw
You might have been infected but you never were a bore
I’m dying of your love, my love, I’m your spirochaetal clown
I’ve left my body to science but I’m afraid they’ve turned it down

Sung by Graham Chapman of Monty Python.

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