the conclusion to ‘love not lost in your eyes’ 3


Years three I got my own title, they where finally going to publish Y2CHRIST as a monthly comic, and not just a back insert in a few of their other titles. They told me I could have this title if I took care of writing it, penciling, and inking, so everything but lettering which they had someone who lettered all their books. This was a lot of work, not to mention I still had to do pick up work on the other titles.
Years four through six of our marriage where just one large blur of energetic joy. Everything was going great for both of us. Her coffee shop was soaring in sales, becoming the most popular coffee shop in the county. Y2christ had become a popular commodity for the publisher I worked for and was spawning into merchandise, as well as a Saturday morning cartoon.

Year seven, this year, was not as blissful as the first six. She lost her job at the coffee shop, not for something she did, but because they where all shut down.

During this year she started drinking. Heavily.

She transformed from this sweet, lovable girl to a ball of angry rage who couldn’t put down the bottle of jack. And all over losing her job at the coffee shop. Like I said, she loved that job. That job was her life outside of me. She had been working there since she turned 16, hell we had our first kiss in that coffee shop. Her parents opened the coffee shop for her when she was 12. They told her that when she was 16, she could work there for as long as she liked. She lost the job because the shop had to be shut down due to health risks, and fire risks. Her parents had no inclination of re-opening it.

She was destroyed by this, and became a bitter person from it. She no longer gave me sweet glances of affections. She gave me obsolete stares of empty thought. She was a shell of the person she once was. Her life was no longer filled with joy. Drunkenness was her forte now. I tried to console her, but she couldn’t careless what I had to say.

Around 2 months ago She started staying out late. Going out to bars in Seattle and sleeping on the streets. Not coming home for days. She was telling me she was visiting her sister who lived over there, but I found out the truth. I was getting worried out of my mind, going absolutely nuts because of what was going on.

Because of what was going on, my work started to slip. I was missing deadlines. I had abandoned y2christ and gone back to doing filler work, even just doing filler I was screwing up. About three weeks ago I got fired. I was told that it wasn’t anything personal, they just needed someone more reliable. The publisher still published y2christ, they got a new creative team to work on it, and gave me a by line as creator, but I didn’t see any money for it.

Within the last three weeks had been curious to what she had been doing on her long trips across the water, so I decided to follow her one night. Her nights where filled with drinking, sex, more drinking and even more sex. I couldn’t believe it. The love of my life lying to me, cheating on me with men she didn’t even know. Drinking more then I had ever seen any one drink and all because of loser her job at a coffee shop! I know I meant a lot to her, but god damn, this is just fucking crazy.

That night when I got back I went to my best friend’s house. Explained to him what was going on. He told me to relax, and introduced me the new love of my life, to cocaine. I’ve spent the last three weeks enjoying the wonders of drugs. Never before has my mind felt so clear. I write this letter to tell whoever finds this letter that I am murdering my wife on this night, and then turning the gun on myself to end this painful display of inferiority. I love her with all my heart, and though it appears the love is gone, love is not lost in her eyes.

©2003jhorsley3


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