November 8th, 2005 “I think I can I think I can…” 2


Why is it that whenever I’m in the shower my hands will constantly wonder down and play with my genitals? Now that I think of it, this isn’t just a shower thing. Whenever I find myself naked my hands always go downstairs for a little halftime action.

 


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I talked with Michelle today for awhile, about some intense stuff. Well, ok not really intense but about Sarah about her and her situation with her Grandma. We came to the conclusion that both of our instincts on each subject where in some way the correct one, but not the easiest one. For me I feel I must hold back and just say really close friends with Sarah and not cross that boundary in something more. I think in the long run it will be better for us both. With her moving to Seattle in January it also alleviates the problem there since I do not think I am able to deal with a long distance relationship. Jeff’s girlfriend Sonja lives in Port Angeles and he does it, I’m not sure how. I honestly do not see how I could do it. I would not be able to make it over to Seattle to see her often, nor could I really afford to. I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t talk about this here.

I’m thinking of going down to one Live Journal again. Right now I have one I’ve had since 2002 and another since 2003 and have posted in both off and on. My original intent was to post all artwork and strips in and all personal stuff in but honestly, I just want one to post them all into now. I really wish I could just combine the two so all my past post would show up under one account, that would be awesome.

 

I also want to publish a book. Really badly I want to publish a book. I have so many ideas for books, and some I have even written out, one I have about half way done. I really should just get off my ass and FINISH something then try and get it printed.

Sometimes I feel like I try and do too much. I want to publish a book so I write a bunch of shit. I want to put out music, which I’ve put out 9 Damn the cow CDs with another in the works and a DVD live show in the works as well. I also put out 4 CDs when I was in Meriwether/Mihr/Ardus, one of which I don’t have a copy of because Alex is a pig fucking son of a fuck. Calvin and I are working on an EP for our duo acoustic project Brokenboy called 56 Songs to Kill yourself To. I’m also working on a solo project called DFB which currently has 2 different CD projects in the works. Then there’s y2christ-lite and my plans of revamping it, upping the quality of the art again which takes me more time per strip.

I also want to produce a cartoon and a movie.

I think I spread myself to thin on creative projects. I really should pick one or two and complete them, then move to the next and so on and so forth. That’s actually a really good idea, thanks me. Now to just pick which ones I should work on. If anyone is actually still reading this tell me what you think I should work on, your opinion on this is much appreciated. Also if you think I should just stop and get a better job and give up all this nonsense, or kill myself, let me know that too.

 

”Shut the fuck up Donny”The Big Lebowski

 

It’s 6:21am here at Bremerton Lanes and oh god all mighty I am bored to the fucking teeth. I’ve drawn some but right now I just don’t feel like working on it anymore because I feel like I will just screw it up. Though I did add a bitching Werewolf (se below).

So when I get home today I will probably fuck around on my computer a little, maybe work on some Photoshop stuff. Actually I should do that for an hour or two when I get home, that’s a great idea. Go me again. Then I will pass out until about 5pm or so. At 6:45 I will be back here at the alley to bowl league. Then I Go back home around 9pm and figure out what to do until 1am. More then likely I will take a nap until midnight, but I don’t know. I kind of want to see a movie or something.
Wednesday and Thursday are my days off. I really should go upstairs and do some comic sorting for the business. I’ve really been slacking on that recently. Every since I got the job here I haven’t done much of anything for the business. I think I just have a lot on my mind.

And speaking of having a lot on my mind, I’ve been thinking about moving a lot recently. A LOT. Jeff is supposed to be buying a house and I will be moving in with him and paying him rent to help with his mortgage. Dylan is supposed to move in as well and do the same thing as me. It just feels like it’s taking FOREVER, but I know buying a house isn’t an overnight thing.

He called me the other day and told me he found a house on Burwell, well a piece of property on Burwell that has TWO houses on it. That would be fucking AWESOME. He can live in one and Dylan and I can rent the other one and live in gay harmony. I honestly can’t WAIT until its moving day for me, I already packed up a bunch of my shit. Speaking of that I really need to clean up my room and my bathroom in the house. Maybe I will do that on Wednesday and sort comics on Thursday. I wish I was like Batman and only needed to meditate for 3 hours a night and could avoid this pesky sleeping business.

 


So awhile go, about a week of so, I posted a picture of a missing girl, Megan Lee. She still hasn’t been found. Though I was told that another girl, one of her friends, is also missing and an older boy, around 20, is suspected to be involved. Honestly I hope she was just being stupid and ran off with this guy for some dumb teenage angst thing, rather then the alternative. She is such a sweet girl. It’s weird for me to think that just last month she was over at my house having dinner with my family and her family, and now she has been missing for two weeks.

 

I usually listen to techno all night long here because it puts me in this drone state and I lose track of time. It’s great because one second I will look at the clock and is 3am, the next it’s 6:40am. On a completely different note I don’t think I’ve shaved in a month. I will probably shave when I get home.

 

What the fuck is going on in Paris? Jesus god all mighty fuck stick.

 


~j


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