Sunday September 19th, 2010. The wife and I joined my sister and her family on an excursion to the Puyallup State Fair. It was a magical time. Magical rain, magical sunshine, magical melt downs and magically expensive shit food. This brings up several things I wish to talk about, but the first thing I noticed as we walked in was that there was a free Mexican dance show that day at the fair and that the number of Mexican, or Latino, attendees seemed to be rather high. Not one to point out things like this, but it was about a 3 – 1 ratio of Mexican/Latino’s to ‘other’. That includes white, black, green and purple people (eaters). Not being racist (yet), just pointing it out.
Anyway, we had planned on going this day for a long time but the weather was shite so we canceled our plans. Well at the last minute we decided to join my sister and crew and suck it up and just go. We spent some time, packed up our gear, and our kids, and left for the hour and a half drive to the fair. One thing to note is that the wife and I both have GPS iPhones…and we still went the wrong way on i5. It really wasn’t a big deal is it added like 3 minutes to the trip, but still…frustrating. The really funny thing about this? We where laughing and upset (a little) that we went the wrong way. I mean, shit, we have turn by turn directions (that we weren’t using) and we went on south I5 and not north I5…only to realize today that our little screw up was not a screw up at all. I haven’t told the wife this yet, but she will read it here assuming she reads this.
Not taking the wrong directions aside we finally get there. And here is something that irritates the SHIT OUT OF ME.
Why in the name of everything that is holy is parking at an event feel like they are raping you with no lube, so god damned expensive, overpriced? Does it REALLY need to be $12 to park at the state fair? Seriously? For that matter why is it when I am in San Diego (which means Whales Vagina) for ComiCon does parking range form $10 to $50? Who in their right mind would agree that $50 is worth while for a parking price? I understand the price is based upon the demand yadda-yadda, but parking prices are insane. During an event I can understand $10. That seems fair. But come on folks, $12 for a FAIR? $5 seems more appropriate.
Next on the hit list:
THE PRICE OF FOOD.
If I wanted to pay $30 to shit chunky water I’d go eat fillet mignon (I’m allergic to beef). I spent $9 on some shitty chicken strips and french fries. Ok, the fries where ok, but the chicken strips…I should have just asked for a glass of the grease they used to cook it cause that’s what it tasted like. God forbid I wanted a drink to go with it..that would have been another $5. We spent $20 for a pepperoni pizza that wasn’t to bad, but I’m pretty sure it was the same as a $5 pizza from Safeway. My sister bought a cheeseburger for $5. No fries or soda with that. JUST a greasy burger.
Luckily we bought 2 of the ‘fair backpacks’ that gives you some coupons for the fair (that are completely worthless), some drinks, snacks and coupons to be used after the show. The 2 set us back $25, but the drinks and snacks came in handy. Not sure it was money well spent BUT it was nice while at the fair.
The best part of the fair was walking around in what I like to call the ‘free zone’. You know, the pavilion thing where all these companies are trying to sell you shit and giving away shit for free. Not literally shit, but shit none the less. We got some samples, almost bought some shoe polish from this very persuasive guy, almost switched our TV service to Dish Network and watched a questionably Japanese girl make sushi.
Now to preface the next sub story of this story of epic-fair-ness, the wife and I have been looking into getting a new bed. A Temper-Pedic bed to be exact, but they are ass expensive (like Vegas ass, not Seattle ass). She wants one bad. So bad that she has been having dreams about getting one.
While walking down an isle Kaylie looks at me and says “I wonder if they have a Temper-Pedic booth here with awesome deals!” I turn around, then tap her on the shoulder and say “Hey babe, look. A Temper-Pedic booth with awesome deals”
Two hours later we are the proud owners of a Temper-Pedic Rhapsody memory foam bed. We are also the proud owners of a crap ton more debt. How much debt? Well, just go look up the price for yourself if you want to know.
The last thing I want to talk about is the ‘Mexicans Day’ reference I made earlier in the post. Needless to say I made several jokes Mexicans Day jokes. Like there was a group of police officers (like 15) standing next to a taco stand. I wont tell you what I may or may not have said (you can’t prove it) but it was hilariously inappropriate. Well on our way out we saw a sign that said ‘Latino Appreciation day’, which in my mind validated me calling in Mexicans Day and everything else prior. I wasn’t a racist I was just very observant.
Oh, and if on Latino appreciation day they got discounted tickets, I want to know why the hell there wasn’t a white appreciation day with discounted tickets. Sometimes it sucks being a white male. No white history month, not white appreciation day, no white males night at the bar. Just less likely to be arrested and better pay in all our jobs to get us by.
Now that’s going to piss someone off.