love not lost in your eyes 8


here is a sample of my new story. hopefully someone will read it and give me a little feed back. so far im calling it “love not lost in your eyes”

Sitting in my study tonight I came the conclusion that I was going to have to murder my wife. She had been cheating on me for years, and I just had been brought to the ends, to strings pulled to tight and broken. I love her so much, and had for the last 7 years, as well as the 3 years we dated, but I could not stand the cheating. She knew this, I had told her many times that when I was in high school I fell in love with a girl and she had broken my heart by cheating on me with my best friend. She promised me she would never cheat one me, not in a million years.

God I loved her so much. I remember one time, on Valentine’s Day, witch is the day we got married. I work her up at seven in the morning, brought her breakfast in bed. It was scrambled eggs, bacon, and chocolate ship pancakes with extra creamy cool whip, her favorite. After that I took her to Seattle to go shopping in the Westlake Mall. I had been saving sine July to take her on this trip, and had some where around $3,500 to spend on her today. A lot, I know. But I was so in love with her. And this was our third wedding anniversary, so I wanted to spoil her.

The number three meant a lot to her. It was the number of her father’s car when he got to drive at Daytona. The fateful race that took his life. Every since then, the number three meant the world to her. So I thought I would spoil the crap out of her on our third anniversary.

Anyways, I took her to the Westgate Mall in Seattle and told her to go wild! She had a blast. She bought new clothes, new shoes, she even bought some new movies. She finally picked up this dress she had been wanting for awhile, even though it cost $900. I told her the stars where the limit on this wonderful day.

For the best of my knowledge she loved me back just as much as I loved her. You see, we had met in collage, after she had just gotten out of a terrible relationship with an ex football player. She met me in the commons while I was working on some drawings for class (I was an art major). She was crying at a table, so I drew her a rose in the hand of a smiley faced man with the caption ‘don’t cry, Smiley still love’s ya!’ I was trying to be funny but sincere.

She looked at it, looked at me, stood up and fell into my arms crying and laughing. Resting her head on my shoulder she whispered ‘Thank you, I needed that.’ I placed my arms around her and embraced her in her time of need.

This sparked up a conversation that lasted for eight hours. We both ended up missing our classes for the day. But, neither of us really cared. We felt something in each other, even if at first it was ‘hey, this person could be a great friend’ type of vibe, something was there.
Personally I thought she was way out of my league as far as dating goes, so I just played the friend card for the first few months. As I got to know her, I started to fall for her, but I was under the distinct impression that it was only, and would always be one way. This girl was just to beautiful for the like of me.

I thought all this until one day, on great day that opened the doorway for our love. We where sitting in the commons at collage like we did everyday, talking, going over things I had drawn. At the time I was working on a comic book called ‘y2christ.’ Laughing, bullshitting, and just generally enjoying each others company as always when this group of guys came up and started hitting on her. What opened the door was that she wasn’t flirting back like she normally did, she just looked at them, looked at me and said ‘I got a man boys, sorry.’

I was absolutely flabbergasted! I was shocked. The guys walked away whispering obscenities under their breaths as they went. While I just sat there, shocked and frozen staring at her. She laughed like she always did and told me to snap out of it. I finally came and asked her if she was serious. Of course I’m expecting the general let down of a no, she was just playing it up for the guys. But no, she told me she was serious, that she did have feelings for me. I mean it didn’t come out that fast, she started my smirking and saying maybe, but when it came down to it in the next hour we had talked about it and she said yes, she does have a thing for me.

WOOOOOHHHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is what crossed my mind! I was so happy! After class we went to the coffee shop she worked at to get some coffee(what else would we get there)back to my place and talked it over, and made it official, we where now a couple. Then we proceeded to ‘celebrate’ on my roommates couch. He was out at his parent’s house, so he wouldn’t care. This was the best night of my life! I was already in love with her, and now I’m making love to her! And I didn’t have to drug her or hit her over the head with a club to do so. What a relief that was.

We dated for 3 years then got married. Through out our dating career I told her of my fear of being cheated on. She said that wasn’t in her blood, cause she had been cheated on so many times in past relationships, and she felt she could finally trust someone again, and that someone was me. It took about a year for me to get up the nerve to tell her I was in love with her. It was funny when I did, cause she told me ‘I know, I’ve known for awhile now. I love you too dear.’ Spoken like it was no big deal.

The first few years of our marriage was pure bliss. Neither of us wanted children at the time, we felt that early 30’s would be a good time for that. We went to parties, drank it up, and had a lot of fun. I worked as an artist for a local publisher doing fill in work, and occasional doing full titles or covers when they needed it, I was happy there. She worked as a barista in a coffee shop making great tips, and she enjoyed it. We weren’t rich, but we where comfortable. We didn’t have to live from pay check to pay check, my job occasionally paid well when the publisher pimped me out to the big boys.

We bought a little 2 bedroom house in the suburbs in our second year married together. We finally got tired or renting and paying money out to no end. Our house had a little yard, and the neighbors were far enough away that I couldn’t stand on my porch and piss on their house, as you can tell I hate housing complexes. We where very happy there. Having picnics in the yard with the neighbor kids. Inviting the family over for a bb-q. It was nice.

Year three was not as blissful as the first two. She lost her job at the coffee shop, and I got my own title, they where finally going to publish Y2CHRIST as a monthly comic, and not just a back insert in a few of their other titles. They told me I could have this title if I took care of writing it, penciling, and inking, so everything but lettering which they had someone who lettered all their books. This was a lot of work, not to mention I still had to do pick up work on the other titles.

During this year she started drinking. Heavily.

She transformed from this sweet, lovable girl to a ball of angry rage who couldn’t put down the bottle of jack. And all over losing her job at the coffee shop. Like I said, she loved that job. That job was her life outside of me. She had been working there since she turned 16, hell we had our first kiss in that coffee shop. Her parents opened the coffee shop for her when she was 12. they told her that when she was 16, she could work there for as long as she liked. She lost the job cause the shop had to be shut down due to health risks, and fire risks. Her parents had no inclination of re-opening it.

She was destroyed by this, and became a bitter person from it. She no longer gave me sweet glances of affections. She gave me obsolete stares of empty thought. She was a shell of the person she once was.

©2003jhorsley3


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