“Last Friday Night” by Katie Perry – De-constructing the lyrics

It’s that time again! Where I take a popular song and run the lyrics through my mind to tell you what they mean, what I feel about them and more importantly pass judgment on them for the sole purpose of amusement. I know you all look forward to see how I feel about what some people call music these days. Someday you will all catch on to the trend that follows in these lyrical breakdowns.

 Katy Perry – Last Friday Night – Katy Perry – Last Friday Night ·· .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine

There’s a stranger in my bed,
There’s a pounding my head

I doubt they are much of a stranger anymore, at least not to your cavernous vagina. Might want to ask the name of the person you just gave herpes to.

Glitter all over the room

Glitter = ejaculate

Pink flamingos in the pool

I bet if you read this line enough times and really let the meaning sink into your head, you would realize this story either takes place in the 1960’s or on retirement-ville Florida.

I smell like a minibar

I would like to point out that “minibars” smell like any other fridge in the world. I assume she is meaning the contents of the minibar poured over her body like some liqueur bukkake. Shit, that might become a line in her next over-sexed hit.

DJ’s passed out in the yard
Barbie‘s on the barbeque

First off, if your DJ is in the yard you messed something up somewhere. Also, if you are at a party like this and still playing with Barbies, then you really need to step back, take a look at your life and ask your self “Is this what my grandma would have wanted?”

There’s a hickie or a bruise

A hickie…is…a…bruise…

Pictures of last night
Eended up online
I’m screwed
Oh well

I see a job at hooters or a bikini coffee stand in your future.

It’s a black top blur
But I’m pretty sure it ruled

This depends on your definition of what “it ruled” means. So far, this night just screams STD to me.

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

If you seriously maxed our your credit cards on booze you suffer from one of two things. An amazingly low credit limit or you suffer from only being able to use 1% of what is left of your pudding brain.

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a menage a trois

So at this point in the story we know you have awaken with a hangover and can’t remember most of the previous night. Ok, we have all hand nights like that, and yes they do in fact rule. But I doubt most of us have maxed our credit cards on said acts that where responsible for said hangover. You don’t seem to care that your drunken night will possibly get you fired form job that helped you get said credit cards. You then got naked in a park then then went for a swim and then had sex with two other people at the same time. Call me?

Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we’re gonna stop-op

Wait, I forgot you had herpes, don’t call me.

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Then again, I’m sure not everyone who has nights like these is full of STDs….right?

Trying to connect the dots
Don’t know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor

You must suffer from what I call “OH SHINNY!!!!”. I’m trying to connect the dots of your words. Or should I say connect the jizz stains.

With my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail

Please don’t use interwebs speak, it makes you look even mo’ stupider.

The rest of the song just repeats the shitty chorus.

I have to be honest, I fucking hate this song. I think the lyrics portray a horrible image for girls and guys. Mostly because this shit just doesn’t fucking happen. Or at least if it does it never ends well. And even if you where in this situation it will surely leave you with a “oh my god this girl is a whore” feeling on your new friends downstairs.

What I hate most about this song is that it has a catchy hook. Then again all of her songs do.

It also annoys me she looks like Zooey Deschanel who has an amazing voice and is an awesome talent. I also hate that everyone compares her looks to Katy Perry. I don’t HATE Katy Perry as a person, I’m sure she’s wonderful (in bed). I just hate her slutty music. It makes me feel dirty. It comes on the radio and I have to change it because my kids can not listen to that shit.

I will end this by saying that I still think she is hot, I’m sure she is lovely (in bed) but I think she needs to stop letting men write songs for her about how cool it is to be a whore and maybe try and put out a song that’s NOT essentially about sucking dick to sell records to men.

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