Day three here in Kauai we decided to take a train ride and nature hike to start our day out with. Our tour guide with this guy named Ky who was completely awesome. He was probably somewhere between Kaylie’s and my age but knew a lot about Kauai, or at least a lot about the specifics of the hike we were on. We learned a lot about the plantation; how it used to make sugar but now it harvests plants, herbs, aloes for lotion and wood for making shit. Really I just enjoyed the walk with my wife, seeing some awesomely strange nature and taking lots of neat pictures (see gallery below) and generally just enjoying something a little different.
While walking through the trail there where these old horseshoes on the trail that Kamren took down and we brought back so we can have some awesome souvenirs of the hike. I think I’ll put mine in a shadowbox frame and hang it on my wall. Along the way Ky told us about this hot pepper plant that was hotter than an jalapeño and he asked if anyone wanted to try one…so of course Kamren jumped in and tried it. As Ky said, it hit him like a PUNCH in the face then tapered off after about 20 minutes. He tried to get me to taste one but decided to keep my taste buds and NOT eat this thing. I did however grab a bunch to take home with me.
I should back up and tell you that Kaylie and Trish both wore flip flops for our nature hike. A NATURE HIKE. They are so smart sometimes. Oddly enough when we broke for lunch after the hike and prior to the portion where we walked through the orchard and ate fruit one of Kaylie’s flip flops broke. The thing portion just RIPPED out of the bottom. She spent the rest of the trip in her bare feet like Rapunzel (Saidey would be so proud). I got to hand it to her, she did it like a champion without complaining about her feet. I think she secretly liked being barefoot and would rather not have worn shoes at all on this trip. For lunch this high class adventure served us turkey wraps…from Costco. Seriously? Costco turkey wraps? What the F Sauce?I was expecting something made from the plants grown on this plantation, not a fucking wrap from Costco. What we did get that was awesome was a fresh and pre-teen pineapple. Usually I’m not a pineapple fan but if they tasted like this one I would eat them all the fucking time. This thing was juicy, delicious, fresh and amazing. I think I nearly ate half of it! We also tried some oranges, tangerines, papaya, something called a “dragon eye fruit” that was gross and a couple other fruits.
After the train ride, hike and fruit we headed over to the Kauai Rum Company for a rum tasting. This was an awesome idea I thought, free rum! Once we got in there and I took the first sip of rum I realized how much I absolutely hate rum straight. I mean it’s ok mixed in drinks but spiced rum makes me want to puke. And they gave us so much to “taste” I couldn’t believe it. Seriously if you just hung out for the tastings you would be drunk in no time! Kamren got to go in with us and even got to try the rum cake and rum fudge, both where delicious.
Our next stop of the day was Hawaiian tourist trap Hilo Hatties. Not nearly as cool as any makes it out to be. It was just overpriced tourist crap. I mean nothing in there was unique and nothing really screamed out “oh, this is neat! Buy me!” well, with the exception of a monkey bank carved from a coconut. Everything else thought, meh. I found more interesting stuff at road side vendors! I did however get a free mug.
For dinner we wanted to go someplace nice so we found this place called the Lemongrass Seafood Grill which looked great! It slowly went downhill from there. Kaylie order a drink and asked if it was fruity or strong, the waitress assured us it was fruity. Well, if a drink that taste like a straight shot of rum is fruity, this is a strange island. Kamren and I split a seafood lovers dinner for two because, well you know…no one else likes seafood like we do. Kaylie got a Filet Mignon with no vegetables and fried rice while Trish had a prime rib steak. My fish was overcooked, Trish’s steak was tough and Kaylie had to send her filet mignon back because they gave her vegetables. When it came back with her friend rice they had just re-fired the filet mignon, which was supposed to me medium rare and ended up being well done, tough and stringy. It looked and tasted like a beef roast. NOT what I would expect from a supposed “nice” restaurant. When we complained the manager said she would give us 10% off, sounds good. Only it was 10% off her filet mignon ONLY, which equaled $2.50. Wow, thanks for going out of your way. We just paid you $200 for shitty service and bad food. Fuck you. Did I mention I had to ask for bread SIX times? Fucking SIX. The plus is on the way out a group of 5 was headed in and Trish stopped them, told them our story, ended it with “if you are starving go ahead, otherwise I would look elsewhere” and elsewhere they did. Again, fuck you Lemongrass on Kauai!
After that we headed up the road and found what looked like an awesome sushi joint that we will check out before we leave. We had this idea of getting matching tattoos while we are here or like a turtle or some shit. I was all for this until we went an asked price and it’s MINIMUM $100 no matter what. $100 for a little turtle? Again you are CRAZY. No tattoo for me, not at that price. I see no reason it should be that much for a tattoo that will literally take 20 minutes each, on 4 people and all be the same simple turtle design.
Oh well, tomorrow we are going up the Na’pali coast on a little boat (ok, well at this point in writing we already did, but I will talk about it tomorrow! I have amazing pictures of dolphins too!)
I’ll say later bitches, bitches love later.