I hurt myself today, well actually some time in the past.

You might recall several months ago I had surgery on my wrist. Well it was supposed to get better but I am of the honest opinion it did not. I believe it actually got worse. I say this because if I am cooking and using tongs my hand sill start to hurt in less than a minute and I can not longer use said tongs. I have also developed this amazing ability to have pain radiate from my shoulder all the way to my wrist. I know, it’s an amazing ability.

Will I use it for good or evil? Do I even have a choice?

I went to the ER for this one day because the pain went shooting down my side and I pretended in my mind that it was a heart attack. Don’t worry, it wasn’t. Doctor Oh-My-Gawd-Shes-Hot said it was just stress. I wanted to ask what the policy was for a physical to be done “just in case” turning my head and coughing would produce some results for them that might help. Or at least help get her hand on my genitals. I’m sure my wife would approve of this if it’s for a “medical reason” and she was there to “supervise”. Right babe? Right? Babe?

Needles to say this did not happen, but I did get to have her ICE FUCKING COLD hands on my back. Seriously reminded me of the episode of Scrubs where Elliot’s Ice Hands freeze that dude. As I said, this all ended with her telling me it was “stress”, get a message (sans happy ending) and shut the fuck up and stop being such a pussy.

Well, that episode was a few months back now and the side thing has not happened again but my wrist is still a little bitch.

It hurts to do push ups.

It hurts to do pull ups.

It hurts to play on the floor with my kids.

The last one bothers me the most. I love to play with my kids, I love to get on the floor and wrestle with them. One of my favorite things to do with my daughter Saidey (who is 3) is to play monkeys. She is monkey baby and I am monkey daddy. We ooo-ahh like monkeys and pound our chest like gorillas. This usually ends up with us attacking on of her brothers. This also usually ends up with my wrist hurting.

This whole wrist being retarded thing effects my work and enjoyment of computers. I spend all day on my computer at work and some time at home working as well as playing on them. The mouse and keyboard for typing really tend to leave my wrist in a bit of a “fuck you” state.

I have also lost my entire work out routine which has made me helped me to gain a lot of weight. Since my surgery I have gained about 50 pounds. I don’t blame this all on my surgery as it’s also because I love food. Since I like food and have not been working out the pounds keep a coming. (I’m working to rectify this, but every fatty in the world is working on this. I have a plan with my cousin to join him in “Becoming Wolverine” I will keep you informed.)

I guess the point of this whole thing is that my wrist still hurts a lot and now it’s moved into my shoulder. I think I should make a doctors appointment to have it looked at but I would be lying if I said being this over weight bothers me when I go to the doctors and have to take my shirt off. Especially since my doctor is hot.

Cest la vie.

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