Aug12th: Navy Guys are Dreamy…


So last night was….well both entertaining and interesting. I will thus try and describe to you the best I can what happened so you can possibly partake in the yummy goodness fun that was last night. But first, a random picture


So the night began with me making a marinade for some steak and chicken around 1pm before I went to work that would be cocked up for dinner that night, with a secret ingredient to be reviled later. Before I went to work I also invited Briana over for another night of dinner and Animaniacs. While at work I got a text message from Briana asking if her friend Marti could come partake in the yummy dinner and Animaniac fun.

Let us fast forward to when I got off work shall we? I went to my parents picked up some shit then went home, yadda yadda. I got home then had to go to the store RIGHT as Briana and Marti got here because I forgot tortillas and peppers. Bah I said to myself with a sigh. Why must I be so lame?
Upon return home I started my sacrificial chopping of the meats. I light a candle, burned some incense grass and spread blood around in a circle. Miss Briana turned her efforts to the slicing of the peppers and choppings of the onions. Miss Marti took it upon herself to be our official taste tester. Miss Barbara decided she would close the door to my room and proceed to set up a blind date with a Navy guy at a bar and totally ignore the wonderful little dinner party I had thrown together.
This is where the fun starts. Well, let me back track a minute here and tell you how the dinner was before I change notes and reveal to you the fun-tastic side of the night that had all the teeny boppers says ‘w00t w00t’. We ended up making fajitas. Before we ate them I had Miss Briana and Miss Marti try the meat to see if they could tell me what the secret ingredient that I used was. They could not, but they thought it tasted wonderfully delightful. If you are curious what it was o next time you marinate steak you can also partake it the yummy goodness that we did….toss a little cinnamon in it.
Enough said? I agree. Move on? Moving on.
Miss Briana, Miss Marti and I sit down to watch some lovely Animaniacs. This is of course after Miss Barbara had left our vicinity to undergo the age old ritual of “howdy-does” and “howdy-oh-god-your-hands-in-my-pants” at a local bar with this Navy guy. Shortly there after Miss Barbara and said Navy Guy return to our dwelling of Animaniacs fun and upon entering our domicile the first thing Miss Barbara does is go to the refrigeration unit and proceeds to grab out two of my alcoholic beverages known as beers and hands one to this Navy Guy with out giving the common courtesy of asking first. Whatever I thought to myself. Slightly rude but I will let my roommate get her mack on and say something about it later. Here comes the really interesting and fun part of the night. In fact, it’s so interesting and entertaining that I think I have to make a new paragraph just for it
Miss Barbara pulled me into my room and asked a very unfathomable series of questions.

The first question was “do you have any money?”

To which I responded with “no I don’t why?”

she retorted with “I need some money for drinks, please tell me you have money?”

“sorry Barbara, but I’m broke. All I have is my cards.”

“Well can you go to an ATM and get me some cash?

” “Are you seriously asking me to leave my dinner guest to go get you money for a booty call?”

“Please J come on! You know I would do the same for you!”

“No you would not!”

“Like I so would!”

“Like you so wouldn’t!”

“UH HUH!”

“NUH UH!!!!”

“YES HUH!!”

” NO WAYS!!”

“YES WAYS!!!”

And then we played beach volley ball.
After our beach volley ball match, played on the south shores of Long Beach, California (shirts over skins, 6-4), Miss Barbara and her new found Navy Friend departed again for another bar. The Three Bat-skateers, as I’ve donned us, where left to watch more Animaniacs and play a world record game of ‘Sorry’, which Marti won by deceitful and cheating matters, but won none the less.

At some point I receive a phone call from Miss Barbara asking me what I thought of her Navy man and then telling me that she was going to hook me up with Steve’s sisters friend’s little sister who works at Sears, has long dark hair, is almost 21 and needs a nice man in her life to set her straight. Just what I need, a fucking project.
Shortly there after Miss Barbara and Mr. Navy return to the cave and drink more alcoholic beverages without asking. Mr. Navy then proceeds to say very uncouth things to my fellow Bat-skateers which resulted in their departure from the Bat-Cave. I walked them to their vehicle, apologizing along the way, and then upon my return to the manor I come to find Mr. Navy in my bedroom on my computer. If you know me at all you know that I dislike people in my room without asking and I especially dis-like people on my computer without prior authorization. I went to the kitchen to do dishes to vent and Miss Barbara comes in to ask me if I wouldn’t mind taking Mr. Navy home cause she’s drunken to much. This completely flabbergasted me beyond all reason. Given all that’s happened that night at the end she wants ME to return him to his boat? She told me she didn’t want to do anything she would regret, so naturally I took the beer out of her hand, poured it out then took Mr. Navy back to his place of sleeping. Needless to say Mr. Navy will not be making a re-appearance to the Bat-Cave and Miss Barbara needs to think her lucky stars I’m a nice guy and didn’t do anything to mean.


This just in, in other news:
Even pigs like to kick it 69! Here’s proof!


~j

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