“Well now…” remarked the sullen man as he sat at his mother in-laws house awaiting a dinner that he really wasn’t hungry for. Contemplation of the day’s events ran through his head faster and more confusing than one would think possible.
“Where can I start. I suppose I should just start from yesterday and work forward to now.” He sat at a computer screen attempting to put the last days adventures down on paper, or rather bytes to be more accurate, as a record of what happened. He was speaking to a captive audience of pixels on a monitor and keys on the keyboard. Only the mouse was uninterested in this tale, and that was only because he was not being used to write it.
“Yesterday the wife and I took our boys to whaling days down in old Silverdale around 5 or 6 pm to go on rides, buy some crap we don’t need and eat food that will inevitable put us in the bathroom all-night. Only about an hour after we got there my wife’s phone began to ring and on the other end was a person who’s phone calls I dread every time they happen.” This was very true, every time his beautiful wife got a call from this person he automatically got into a sour mood. “Her blasted ex-boyfriend, the DNA donor to the step child I have come to love as my own son, was letting her know he was meeting us there to see Jakob. Mind you neither her nor I ever said we wanted him to come or that we were ok with it. “
A little back story on our narrator here is that this DNA donor to his step-child always tends to show up un-announced, and has been the topic of many arguments between him and his gorgeous wife.
“After twenty minutes of uncomfortable-ness we ended up leaving. Mind you the whole time he was there he tried to say how perfect he is. The one really fucked up thing he did do was take our 4 year old foster son and put him on his shoulders, all in good fun but the moment Jakob, my step-son, made a noise he dropped Kodi like a coke head drops a baby and put Jakob on his shoulders, then whined about how he felt unsafe with him up-there. Me being me took Kodi and put him on my shoulders to try and alleviate any upset feelings he might get from this being done. Honestly, I wish Jakobs DNA donor would completely leave our family alone and not pretend to Kodi like he gives a fuck, cause we all know he doesn’t.”
The speaker couldn’t be more true about this. Said DNA donor has always made false promises to Kodi and never once followed through with any of them. Keep in mind that our speaker would not once ever allow Kodi to go with the DNA donor, nor is he please when Jakob goes with him but the speaker does not possess the power or the right to stop Jakob from going. Kodi he can stop from going and does.
“Let us move forward to this morning at 9:30 am when the DNA donor showed up to pick Jakob up because he had asked to have him for the day and we agreed. The only problem was he showed up fucking drunk. Who the FUCK show sup DRUNK to pick up their child? And to top it off he was trying to take Kodi with him as well. Luckily his car requires you to blow into a breathalyzer to get it started because he has DUI’s, driving on suspended, felonies and countless other shit that I will not name off here.
Kaylie forced him to go outside and shut his car off so we could find out for sure if he had been drinking. Cause either he was drunk of his ass fell in an alcohol puddle because he REAKED. After trying to say he didn’t need to about a dozen times he finally did, reluctantly. When he went to start it again, can you guess what happened? That’s right! It wouldn’t start! He swore up and down he wasn’t drunk or anything. What a load of bullshit that was.
We tell him to get in to our car and we will drive him to Troy’s house. Why would we drive him to Kaylie’s bio-dad’s house? Well because we found out that Tami, Troy’s wife, had driven him there on Troy’s request to get Kodi and Jakob. Of course her dad denies any part of any sort of plot to get Kodi today. Seeing as Troy and the DNA donor are almost exactly the same person, you know his fucking pity story is total bullshit.”
We should point out here that the speaker only knows Troy from what other people have told him and a few instances that he has witnessed, but from what he has seen this is very much truth.
“When I was backing out to take DNA donor to Troy’s I totally backed into his back and fucked up the hood, but not a scratch on my car. This sucks cause of what it will probably cost to fix it, but I do not feel sorry at all for doing this, even though it was an accident. Of course DNA donor got all pissed off, but he got yelled at to sit the fuck down and shut up he could deal with it later.
We took him to Troy’s, left Tami at wherever the fuck she went to hide out while DAN donor went to abduct our two kids from us, and left with only a minor yelling fest between Kaylie and Troy.”
If you where an outsider you might have thought it was bad, but if you knew how they fought sometimes you would have seen this as a passing argument, similar to a ‘fuck you’ in a passing hallway at a high school.
“After all this we made and got some phone calls to find out what really happened. From what we have learned DNA donor, who is currently living at Kaylie’s cousin Anna’s house (or at least was, and that’s a whole different story for another day) proceeded to get really trashed last night and verbally bash my wife and I. He was telling Kyle, my wife’s brother (who is also living with Anna, again another story for another day) that he wanted to come over to our house and kick my ass and kept saying how he wanted to ‘kill Johnny’ over and over. Barring the fact that I am pretty sure I could take him in a fight, this mother fucker is crazy enough to… well to do who knows what.
The crazy shit just keeps piling up in our lives. The next time we meet I will tell you about Jakob’s doctors visits and where that is headed, possibly update you all on Kodi’s situation. Give you all the skinny on my testicles and where they stand in the grand scheme of things. But in the immortal words of Mr. Rogers….
That is a story for another day….”