Let’s take a moment to talk about some movies that are coming out this month that I want to see. First there is Brokeback Mountain, or as I have come to call it ‘Gay Cowboys’. There is really only two reasons why I want to see this movie, and neither of them have to do with me thinking it will be any good. One is that it’s a western directed by a China man about two gay cowboys and the second is it has Donnie Darko and Heath Ledger getting all gay like together. I seriously doubt this movie will actually be good, but I will go see it with an open mind and don’t worry I will let you all know what I think regardless on whether you actually want to know or not.
Another movie I want to see is Bloodrayne. Now this movie is guaranteed not to be any good, since it is directed by Uwe Boll, the worst director in Hollywood, actually I am comfortable saying he is the worst director in the word. He has helmed such classics as Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead, neither of which I have seen, but from the looks of them they = crap. I think I will rent them through Netflix to see if they are actually as bad as people say they are. Anyway, it sort of upsets me that this guy takes video games with stories that are so fucking amazing and ruins them. Alone in the Dark had such an awesome storyline in the game, in fact that was the best feature of the game, but it seems he changed EVERYTHING in the movie. In fact I remember reading an interview with the original writer of the movie and he was talking about Uwe Boll and how he wanted to give the main character some super powers. The writer looked at him and was like “Are you serious? The whole point of the story is that the main guy is just a guy who over comes incredible odds.” Apparently Mr. Bolls response was “yeah, but it would just be cool if he has super powers, so lets do that! People like super powers!” But in his thick Nazi accent. I still may go see this movie in theatres, because it honestly can’t be any worse then The Brothers Grim.
Actually, to make this short I kind of want to see every movie that’s coming out this month. Not because I am particularly interested in them, but mainly because I like to see movies and the ones that come out this month don’t all look like shit. So maybe I will just go on a movie seeing binge, only I need to find a suitable time to see them that isn’t at 10pm, cause that will get expensive.