Read this. No really, read it.
I’ll give you a moment to read it and wait for you to come back.
Did you read it? Yeah I know. Fucked up right? Apple is seriously trying to implement a way to kill your phone if it’s jailbroken? FUCK YOU Apple.
This really upsets me. I love my jailbroken phone and I’ll be god damned if Apple will take it away from me.
I am curious to see if it will get through and be allowed.
“In the great year” – Who says this is a great year? How is every year a great year? Certainly some years are not so great as the others. Why not say instead: ‘in could be a great year, but I’m not sure, so we will have to see how this one plays out, but I’m trying to stay optimistic even though this feels like a ‘the world is out to get me’ year’. That sounds like a much more plausible thing for somebody to be thinking.
I actually own this book.
The end.
Apparently Ostly is an alternate spelling of Horsley and so is Worsley. So all you Ostley’s and Worsley’s out there, welcome to the family! Get your crazy card at the door.
For some reason today I became interested in google-ing my last name and seeing what I can find. Not sure why, but every now and then I feel like trying to find information about my family history. As with any family there are some pretty awesome things your can find out. Like how several of my ancestors where the High Sheriff of Northumberland, which apparently means they are the oldest secular office under the Crown. Basically they where the law in them thar territories. One of the times in history that the Horsley where on the right side of the law…at least on paper.
I found there is a jhorsley.com, which appears to be a guy who was learning to be a programmer but stopped blogging a few years ago. Interestingly there is a J Horsley in Utah that teaches communications. Robert J. Horsley Jr was arrested in Brazil for being drunk. Not as exotic as you might think, it’s Brazil, Indiana. Still, 18 and a drunk in public, it’s a good thing I never did that…
I also found out that I will never be as cool as this J Horsley. Because when asked if you are Gangasta or Punk, the most hard core awesome answer is always “C… Pritty boi thug”
There was more to this post, but it got deleted because I didn’t save it. So this is all you get. Love it.
So this new comic popped up, you might have heard about it. It’s called ‘Draw until It’s Funny‘ and brought to you by Ryan Hudson from Channel ATE! and Justin Boyd of Left Handed Toons.
The concept is easy enough, you start a comic and draw until it’s funny, or 15 panels. You just get an idea for the first panel then run with it. Sounds like FUN! What’s that you say? You want to make comics like this? Well luckily Ryan and Justin are kind, soft hearted individuals and have already set up way for you to be a part of the action! All YOU have to do is have a web-comic, and make an attempt and being funny! That second part might be hard if you don’t have a web-comic, but then again if you have one you should be funny by trade! Right? Moving Along…
I plan to email Ryan and Justin a few DUIF comics, get myself DUIF’d (why do I think of The Simpsons when I say it out loud?)
So look for one from myself and from Joe of For The Reels within the next 2 years! I promise! (assume they publish them)
Where there are topics, there are topics that are slightly off. This is not one of them it the topic is awesome. I’m writing this little review as I am reading through the comic, so that will make my reactions more organic and real as opposed to looking back and trying to remember what I liked, I can just tell you. Let’s start this out with a bang. THIS is my favorite comic that Slightly Off-Topic has done.
I should tell you that I read nearly all of the archive and have been sitting on this post for about…a month. Why? Well I wasn’t sure where to take it, I forgot, I wanted it to be perfect, and I forgot. Not that Slightly Off Topic is forgetable, far from it, but because I got busy and didn’t want to rush it. I wanted it to be a well thought out and meaningful review. This is my attempt at that.
I went into this review by simply thinking I would skim the archive, pick out a few of my favorites then write up some thoughts on it. As I read through the comic though I fell in love with it’s charm. The artwork is not the greatest, but it has improved over the years. I also found out that the creator David Adams has his daughter draw the comic as a way to motivate her for school. This my friends is an AWESOME idea! If my kids where older I would completely steal this idea…in fact watch out David, I will probably steal this idea when my kids get older. At least you have been warned.
A lot of the comics are on the social commentary side and tend to vier away from any sort of storyline (for the most part), and it is also the only comic I have found out there that celebrates peoples birthdays with a comic like I do so right there it gets +50 to the awesome-o-meter. Besides being number buffers to your bottom line I see them as a nice way to give shout outs to people you love and possibly want to buy you something nice for YOUR birthday.
Today’s title sounds like a great title for a teenage novel! Throw in a sparkly vampire and some faggy werewolves and you got yourself an international hit! Wait, fuck, that’s already been done.
Would you like an update on what I’ve been up to recently? Sure you would! You care SO MUCH.
Well yesterday after work I went to the dentist. They stabbed my my jaw, TWICE, with this magical numbing thingy. Not to say it worked well, but the entire left side of my lower jaw had ZERO feeling. It’s pretty awesome. My front left tooth and gum had NO FEELING and the one right next to it felt normal. I know I know, everyone has been to the dentist and felt this but it’s still FREAKIN’ COOL!
After I was all numbed up, drooling (sadly not over a hot girl, but because I couldn’t stop it) and talking like Stallone from Rocky, they threw me into the chair, strapped me down and pulled out tools that are only fit for medieval torture and twisted sex games. Somewhere in the between was a life of which we all dream, and nothing and no one will ever take that away. (Bonus points to who ever can post a comment and tell me where that last sentence comes from) Luckily I was so numb that I really felt nothing but the pressure of my head being tossed around and my mouth being open wide enough for Shaq.
Then the doctor got out the sledge hammer, power drill, chainsaw and one of those things that break up cement, the name of which escapes me. Oh yeah, it’s a JACK HAMMER. What a funny name for a tool. Now is it a Hammer that JACKS or a JACK that HAMMERS? HMM???
Anyway, they hammered, and jacked, and drilled and chainsawed my tooth away. Pretty sure I was bleeding like a virgin hooker up in there, but I couldn’t really feel anything. As my blood splattered the walls, three nurses fainted from the horror, while the doctor kept screaming for more tools to wrench down this rugged tooth and pummel it into submission.
The three nurses on the floor woke up just into to see the doctor throw the chainsaw into the wall and demand his LASER GUN.
HIS WHAT?!?! you say. His mother fuckin’ laser gun. Straight out of some bad sci-fi horror flick. He stands back and takes aim at the tooth, then shoots! He misses! Nurse one is down! Her name was Nancy, she was a nice woman, but it’s for the best that she was shot, because she was stealing millions from the doctor. I think secretly the doctor knew this and missed on purpose. It doesn’t matter now, the rabid clean up bunnies will dispose of her body now. Did I fail to mention there were rabid bunnies cleaning up the blood earlier? Well there were, and now they’ve disposed of the body.
The doctor shoots some more, grazing the tooth, slicing off chunks of my gum line. If I had any feeling, this would probably hurt like shit, but all I felt was this odd feeling I was soon going to be pant-less. I tend to get pant-less when “this shit gets real”.
Fifteen minutes of laser blasting my face the doctor stops, looks at me and says “I think we got it! Now let’s fix it!”
The doctor looks at the two surviving nurses and tells them “Well girls, he’s all yours now. His life is in your hands. Nurse number three?”
“It’s Jackie!”
“I said, nurse number three, stop taking his pants off. He’s married and has a small winky.”
I would have argued with him, but I was numb and couldn’t talk. And I don’t want to be a liar.
“Girls, patch him up, we’ve done what we can.”
“Yes doctor,” they say in unison.
The nurses then put on a temporary crown on the tooth that was just re-shaped by awesomness, gave me a prescription for Vicodin, and sent me on my way.
And that is how I got my temporary crown put on my back left molar.
I should also note that drinking milk while half your face is numb is very strange. This is because half your mouth thinks it’s cold, the other half thinks it’s warm.
Until next time!
Click on the poster above. See that July 9th in Seattle, WA date? Yeah, the wife and I went to that show. And…it….was….epic! It wasn’t a surprise that we where going, i fact I found out about the show nearly a month ago and emailed Kaylie about. She promptly bought tickets as a present for the both of us. Why did she do this? Well for starters Streetlight is an AMAZING band and anyone who ever has the chance to go see them should. Second tickets where only $12. Third we have never been to a concert together, so why not make Streetlight Manifesto our first? This wasn’t my first time seeing themas I saw them back in 2004 with Garret, but I missed their show in 2005 and the one in 2007.
My work also had a bar b-q the same day (last Friday to be exact) so the plan WAS to hang out at my work until it was time to catch the ferry, eat drink and be merry then hobble my drunk ass and my wives prego ass to the show and have a blast. Unfortunately this plan was ruined by Kaylies work and good judgment. She got off work to late and I decided getting drunk then going to a show would end up in me possibly missing the show.
We got there a little late as the show started at 6:30 and we caught the 6:30 ferry over, but it’s all good. The venue was so hot I think I lost 30 pounds as well as some skin that melted off in the process. There where literally people sweating so much the color of their clothes changed color.
The first person we saw was Dan Potthast which is best summed up by a dorky guy in glasses with an acoustic guitar. I have an audio clip I recorded of him that you will be able to hear in a future y2cl radio episode, but until then peep this (not from this show, but from one in Melbourne).
Next one where the Wonder Years. Didn’t care for them and during their set I was at SoDo Deli munching on a sammich.
After them The Supervillians came on and played an explosive set. The only thing that annoyed me about this band was 1) as soon as they went on the place lit up with pot. 2) after their set they where outside peddling their CDs. Which is fine and all, but I wasn’t to cool with them peddling it DURING Streetlight. and 3) nothing was set on fire. They are The Supervillians, things should burn.
Halfway through their set, and incidentally after the above song played, Kaylie and I went outside because Garret and Missy finally decided to show up. Now Garret is a big Streetlight fan, he introduced me to them many years ago, so I would figure he would have bought a ticket prior to the show. Alas he did NOT and the show sold out.
I don’t want to be a jerk about it, but here was my view of the show:
And here is where Garret was:
Crappy quality picture I know, but it get’s the point across that he should have bought a ticket and not been a loser!
Though honestly, about 4 songs in Kaylie and I went outside to chill with him because we couldn’t see the stage anyway and it was hot as fuck in the club. At least outside it was cool and there was an open door that allowed us to see the stage WAY better then we could from where we started inside.
All in all the show was fantastic! Streetlight but on an amazing show. On of the coolest things they did was this” (again, not from the show I went to but you get the idea)
If you EVER get the chance, go see Streetlight. In fact, buy their albums you will NOT be disappointed. Unless your an idiot.
Yes, my title insinuates a fart. Deal with it.
Recently I have been re organizing my blog here, cleaning it up and making it more user friendly. Theres over 1,000 posts and a lot of them have links and images in them that over the various moves no longer show. You will be happy to know that up through 2005 is fixed and will show all images and links will work. After that I have them all specked out to fix and will hopefully get to that this weekend. You will also notice some new categories on the site, like Artwork. If you want to see all the Artwork that I have posted over the last 8 years. Reluctant as I was to still post some of the older crappy ones, I left them there for nostalgias stake. There is a TON of artwork in that category that is not in any of the galleries, so have a look.
In doing this I wonder if there are any OLDER blogs of mine out there, cause I started this one (on Live Journal) back in June of 2002. I know I was writing online prior to that. Not to worried about it but if I find them at some point I will add them. I have this dirty habit of being a completionist. I have other blogs that I wrote on myspace back in the day that I have lost, since my old myspace that I opened in 2003 got deleted (by me). Not super worried about that one because what was posted there was usually posted on LJ or later here.
I’ll stop talking about this NO ONE cares about.
In other Sergeant Blinky news I have completed (or well am one or two comics away from completing) a Sergeant Blinky 10 part storyline for the relaunch in September. I also have images for another 15-20 comics after that, with a story! So it looks like Sergeant Blinky, Inanimate and a Very Good Segue will all be ready for launch time! Not sure about AdHap though…
That is all for now, until next time.
take her easy, take her sleazy, take her to the clinic cause bitch got crabs.
“why the hell are we awake?” my mind says to me in a groggy voice in dire need of caffeine.
“well Brain, it’s because we have this job that we have to go to at 6am 5 times a week. It helps pay the bills and allows us to live in somewhat comfort.” I respond, trying hard not to allow Brain to force me back into a sleep while at my desk.
“That is such bullshit! I want to rest! I’m the brain and without me fully rested you are DOOMED to make/do/say retarded things all day long!” Brain says in a sleep yell.
“Oh stop it. I’m awake enough to get work done and that’s all the matters. We will go to bed early tonight, I promise!” I plead to him to not force me into sleep.
*SLAM!*
“OW! What the hell was that for, Brain!” I scream while clutching my just smashed into a keyboard head, trying not to pull to much attention from my co-workers.
“To prove that I’m in control here. You bend at my will, and I want sleep!” a coy smirk would be on his face, if he had one.
“Look Brain, I don’t like this anymore than you do. Sadly we don’t have any options here…”
“He could walk out” Brain interrupts.
“Any options that do not involve getting in trouble with my boss!” I retort.
Brain is silent for awhile. At first I think I have finally subdued the beast and can finally get to work. Slowly over the next 45 minutes I start to feel this gradual and slow decline into the land of dreams. I close my eyes to blink only to open them and 5 minutes have passed. I sit up, stretch, start talking to myself. Pulling every little trick I can think of to help me stay awake.
“Awww, looks like someone is getting tired!” Brain finally speaks. He is the (obvious) on behind all this sleepiness happenings.
“What are you doing! I’m trying to work here! I can no be passing out for five minutes here five minutes there! KNOCK IT OFF!” I scream at him, out loud. Some of my co-workers take notice and chuckle to them selves.
“NO! You cannot make me! I just want to sleep and I will get it dammit!”
I am silent. Fifteen minutes pass and I’m fighting all the urges to sleep that Brain is throw at me. It’s like the battle scene of Dumbledoor and Voldemort in Harry Potter, only I’m not sure which side I am.
“That is IT! I’ve had it with you Brain! I’m going to do something I should have done a long time ago!”
“You can’t hurt me without hurting yourself smart boy! Go on! give me everything you’ve GOT!”
“Oh I’m not planning on hurting you…I’m planning on just the opposite!”
“Asian hookers? cause that would be the opposite to me. Asian hookers, let’s do some of those.”
“What? No! shut up, we are married!”
“You know why I like Asian hookers? cause you can always get on more in your bed cause they so little! HEYOOO!!!”
“I’d punch you if there wasn’t a skull in the way.”
While Brain was busy on his little tirade I took to creating the anti-sleep brain. I tilt my head back and down the cup…
“What? What are you doing?!? Is that…is that…COFFEE?? You know what happens when you give me coffee! I wanted sleeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!” Brain cries out in defeat.
I finish the cup and start to pour another, then finish it. Smiling at myself I check to make sure Brain is ok.
“Brain? How are you doing up there?”
“Wide awake and not getting the sleep I wanted, no thanks to you” Brain says very irritated.
“Well, do you even care about sleeping anymore?”
“hmm…well…I guess I don’t. Now I’m vibrant and awake, ready to tackle the day!” cheerfully said by Brain.
“I told you, now let’s get some work done!” I say in a way that announces me the winner of this little debacle.
“Fine, you win! But when this caffeine high crashes later I will get my sleep, and you will not be able to stop it!” Brains says as he takes control back”
“Fuck, didn’t think of that. I guess in the end you will win, but the day is mine!”
“and the crash is mine. Now let’s get some Asian Hookers”
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddddd SCENE!
Well that was fun. I think I’ll turn it into a comic!
This does describe how I felt…well still feel this morning.
Google Doesn’t LIE!
As I have said on many interviews and in the past, y2cl was created to make 4 people laugh. This screenshot form Google Reader PROVES it! I knew I wasn’t a liar. This screenshot was taken awhile ago, so I’m not sure how accurate it is.
In other news I found out today from my trusty Google alerts emails that I get that I am references on the Least I Could Do Wikipedia page (seen here)
I’m pretty surprised it’s there since Ryan won’t confirm it and the people of the LICD forum said I was lying when I posted about it in response to LICD’s 2000th comic that contained all the versions of Rayne, but missed mine. Probably because I dropped out prior to the launch, but still I drew the comic dammit.
Most people have said ‘a week without the kid!? Sweet!’ To be honest I sort of thought that too but it’s only been one day and I want him home! I think I’m a little more of a family man then I let on…haha. I’m sure I’ll mention this in my next blog, but I miss the little bastard!
That’s all for now. This blog will soon expand to have a TON of posts because I am going to import ALL of my old posts from my old blog so they can all be archived in one spot.
Until next time
jhorsley3
